Brace Agility

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Brace Agility

Post by IHateToSayItButITOLDYO.. » Thu, 20 Oct 2005 16:50:18



Quote:

> This weekend was kind of fun.  Freeway has started in agility classes.
> he is a happy boy.  He isn't necessarily the class star, but he progresses
> well.  So this week we were increasing jump pattern difficulty.  We went
> from a gentle curve to right angles.  Which Mr. Freeway did *not* grok.
> Typically he works out away from me, and he kept going round the outside
> of the jumps.

> Well it was a really nice pattern for Tsuki, so I asked if Tsuki could
> play.  And since class was over permission was granted. At first I just
> hung on to Freeway and directed Tsuki around.  But Freeway kept getting in
> my way.  So I said what the heck, and released him.

> First time Tsuki did the jump pattern Freeway followed him around, but
> going round the jumps just as he had for me.  Then the little light bulb
> went on and I had two dogs jumping in tandem in a circle around me.  It
> was very smooth and cool looking.  They didn't do any bumping or crowding.

> I once tried it with Tanith and Tsuki, but Tanith wanted all the equipment
> to herself.  Tsuki, in contrast, seemed to really enjoy showing Freeway
> how it was to be done.

> Oh, and I've got Freeway's entry for Junior Herding Dog ready to mail.
> There is just one spot left.  I hope we make it in.

> --
> Diane Blackman

Fantasy Island Agility / ShitsHOWEND /
Field / Herding Dog Trainin Weekend

De PLANE Boss! De PLANE! De PLANE!
De PLANE! De PLANE!

Oh shut up Tatoo, you skeevey little fruitcake.
You always give Mr. Rourke the willies when
you get like that, my simple little friend.

That miserable puddle jumper can be heard
all over the isand. EveryWON knows it's here.
We've been EXXXPECTING it. That stinkin
plane is HOWE we get HOWER hands on
a bundle of those sucker's hard earned dough.
You gotta get used to it, Tattoo you obsessive
little hype.

But Boss! De PLANE, Boss! De PLANE!
De PLANE!

Oh Tatoo, you're gonna drive Mr. Roark
to take lithium and xanax for the next twenty
years like todays guests, if you don't calm
DHOWEN.

Try some Zen breathin like captain haggerty
teaches. "In with the good air, HOWET with
the bad, in with the good air, HOWET with
the bad."  See? Isn't that much better my
hyperactive little simpleton friend, Tatoo?

Let's go meet HOWER guests, shall we?

Oh, Tattoo, please bring that plate of
rainbHOWE colored pills for HOWER
guests, they'll be flighty, after their flight.

Be SHORE to advise everyWON to be
careful of drug interactions like this
warning from marybeth: "Yup Diane,
I am taking Zoloft, and my Rheumatologist
told me that taking Ultram with it can
cause seizures."

We've made Shirley Temple coctails for
these special NUT cases, umm, I mean,
GUESTS, Tattoo.

Whisper it in their ears individually. You
know HOWE sensitive mentally ill people
are these days, Tatoo. We'll be working
on that this weekend, Tattoo.

Just remember if anything goes wrong,
it's only a fantasy, Tatoo. Only a fantasy.
Just like where these suckers come from
in the real world Tattoo, they live in their
fantasies. That's HOWE COME they
need to take psychotropic medications.

Some of them think they're trainers or
behaviorists or just ordinary dog lovers
who train their dogs for sport and pleasure,
even when they gotta shock and jerk and
***them on pronged spiked pinch ***
collars and wring their necks on Gentle Leader
neck twisters and lock them in boxes and ignore
their cries and twist their ears and beat them with
sticks and spray BINACA in their eyes if they can't
control the environment to make it MOORE FUN.

And then they LIE abHOWET it despite
that every thing they've said is indellibly
archived on Google, forever.

That's INSANE. Ain't it, Tattoo. Only a
child or a retard or a psychopath could
think like that, eh,Tattoo?

"Many People Have Problems Getting The Pinch
Right, Either They Do Not Pinch Enough, Or They
Have A Very Stoic Dog. Some Dogs Will Collapse
Into A Heap. About The Ear Pinch: You Must Keep
The Pressure Up," sindy "don't let the dog SCREAM"
mooreon, author of HOWER FAQ's pages on k9 web.

You think HURTING a HUNTING DOG to
MAKE IT HUNT is NECESSARY, Tatoo???

"Well, Jack Did Hit My Dog. Actually I'd Call It
A Sharp Tap Of The Crook To The Nose. I Know
Jack Wouldn't HaveDone It If He Thought Solo
Couldn't Take It. I Still Crate Him Because
Otherwise I Fear He Might Eat My Cat," melanie.

Oh! HOWEDY melanie! Tattoo and I were
just talking about that. Pardon, we didn't
see you standing behind us.

You think allowing a "FEAR AGGRESSIVE MAN
SHY" dog to be BEATEN by a strange male trainer
is INTELLIGENT BEHAVIOR for a DOG LOVER?
We'll be working on that this week, soon as your
little dog Solo's medication is withdrawn, melanie.

Shall we join the rest of HOWER guests?

"Warning: Sometimes The Corrections Will Seem
Quite Harsh And  Cause You To Cringe. This Is A
Normal Reaction The First Few  Times It Happens,
But You'll Get Over It."mike duforth, author:
"Courteous Canine."

Ahhh, HOWEDY mikey! We were just fixin
to join the rest of HOWER guests. Let's join
the others, where it's safe, shall  we? Oh,
bye the bye mikey, you think HURTIN dogs
and CRINGING is COURTEHOWES?

Fascinating, ain't it, Tattoo?

Well! HOWEDY professor!  We were just
discussing beavior with mikey and melanie.
Care for some chemical anti psychotic
straight jackets?  Tattoo, bring HOWER
good professor that plate of rainbHOWE
colored pills and something non ***ic
to wash it DHOWEN with. Oh, and while
you're at it Tattoo, invite professor SCRUFF
SHAKE'S associate dr. p to join us.

Ahhh! Master Of Deception blankman and
her little dog Toto! Come along, join HOWER
discussion. We was just talkin abHOWET
your friend melanie beatin her dog Solo in
the face with her shepherd's crook, as you
have a propensity to do to your little dog Toto.

Tattoo! Tattoo! Sumpthin's happend to HOWER
guests! They've all suddenly fallen to the grHOWEND
and are flippin like fish HOWETA water!

AMAZING!

They look just like their dogs. Don't they, Tattoo?

"Granted That The Dog Who Fears Retribution
Will Adore His Owner," lying "I LOVE KOEHLER"
lynn.

  lyinglynn writes to a new foster care giver:
  For barking in the crate - leave the leash on and
  pass it through the crate door.  Attach a line to it.
  When he barks, use the line for a correction.

 - if necessary, go to a citronella bark collar.

  Lynn K.

"The day may come when the rest of the animal
creation may acquire those rights which never
could have been withholden from them but by
the hand of tyranny. The question is not can
they REASON, nor can they TALK, but can
they SUFFER?"  -- Jeremy Bentham

"Thank you for fighting the fine fight--even tho
it's a hopeless task, in this system of things.
As long as man is ruling man, there will be
animals (and humans!) abused and neglected. :-(
Your student," Juanita.

The Puppy Wizard sez "A dog is a dog as a child
is a child. They only respond in PREDICTABLE
NORMAL NATURAL INNATE INSTINCTIVE
REFLEXIVE ways to situations and circumstances
of their environment which we create for them.

ALL BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS ARE CAUSED BY
MISHANDLING. Damn The Descartean War of
"Nature Vs Nurture." We Teach By HOWER Words
And Actions And GET BACK What We TAUGHT.

In The Problem Animal Behavior BUSINESS
FAILURE MEANS DEATH. SAME SAME SAME
SAME, For The Problem Child Behavior BUSINESS.


  > Hey, do like me, and killfile Jerry.
  > He has millions of people aleady reading his posts and
  > watching him extract his soggy  foot out of his mouth!
  > Out of these MILLIONS, I've only seen 2 naive childs
  > come forward and actually believe in his training manual.

Quote:
Robert Crim writes:

I assume that I and my wife are those two naive childs
since I freely admit to having read and, I hope,
understood enough of the manual and it's counterparts by
John Fisher and the posts of Marilyn Rammell to believe
and use it.

This naive child would like to say thank you to both
Jerry and Marilyn for putting up with a constant barrage
of really infantile ***at the hands of supposedly
*** dog lovers.

The other naive child (LSW) has to put up with the
nagging idea that if people like them had been posting
earlier, maybe we would not have had to hold the head
of a really magnificent animal in our arms while he was
given the needle and having to hug him and wait until he
gasped his last gasp.

To my mind, "naive" is believing you can terrorize a dog
into good behavior.  Naive is believing that people that
hide behind fake names are more honest than people that
use their real names.  Naive is thinking that dilettante
dog breeders and amateur "trainers" like Joey
(lyingdogDUMMY, j.h.) are the equal or better than
those that have studied and lived by their craft for
decades.

"Stupid" is believing that people do not see kindergarten
level insults for what they are. Really stupid is believing
that people like Jerry Howe and Marilyn Rammell are
going to just go away because you people act like fools.

Why do you act like fools?  I really have no idea, and I
don't really care.

  > And, to date: I've not seen ONE come forward and
  > actually admit to buying and having success with his
  > little black box.

I think I'm going to get one myself for Father's day and
take it down to the Animal Shelter for their use and
testing. You would never believe the results, so you'll
never know.

  > Anyone by now that doesn't see a scam man coming by
  > Jerry's posts deserves to get what is sure to be coming
  > to him! LOL!

I don't see a "scam man", so I guess I and Longsuffering
Wife and Rollei will just have to get what we deserve,
eh? As Joey (Dogman) says, "poor Rollei.".......right.

  >Terri

Yes it was, and that is sad.

Robert, Longsuffering Wife and Rollei (do I get to
listen to the box first?)

        "If you talk with the animals, they will talk with you
                       and you will know each other.
         If you do not talk to them, you will not know
...

read more »

 
 
 

Brace Agility

Post by AnimalBehaviorForensicSciencesResearchLaborat.. » Thu, 20 Oct 2005 19:25:23


HOWEDY pat,

Quote:

> Isn't that cute -

Cutsie is The Amazing Puppy Wizard's middle name!

Quote:
> feeble little AssHowe thinks he's funny...

Did I ever tell you HOWE I make the horses laugh?

Quote:
> pathetic is a better word.

PATHETIC??? You wanna see PATHETIC? Look up
Master Of Deception blankman and melanie
chang's POSTED CASE HISTORIES of their "sheep
dog" trainin!!! For a REAL PATHETIC case look
up robin nutall's "Golden Girl Of Agility" case
history, pat.

FUNNY? You think THAT'S FUNNY? You ain't got
no doGgamened sense of humor, pat.

TRY THIS if you want FUNNY:

      Fantasy Island Shelter Rescue Foster Care Givers Weekend!

De Plane! De Plane Boss! De Plane Boss! De Plane! De Plane!

Oh shadddup Tatoo you skeevy little hype. That damned
puddle jumper SHOWES up here abHOWETS EVERY weekend. You
can HEAR if from MILES away carrying HOWER auspiciHOWES
guests and a WEE BIT OF MONEY for HOWER coffers.

Fortunately this weekend's visitors are FLUSH with OTHER
PEOPLE'S hard earned dough so it'll be EZ to fleece them
DHOWEN like spring lambs <{); ~ ) >.

De Plane Boss! De Plane! De Plane!

Oh Tatoo, PLEASE, you're giving Mr. Roarke a freakin
headache. Chill HOWET you wretched little cuss or we
may have to do some OBEDIENCE DRILLS with you.

O.K. Boss, I'm SORRY I'm SORRY I'm SORRY Boss. Honest.
HOWE abHOWET I go get some refreshements for HOWER guests?

No Tattoo. These are SPECIAL guests, they're HOWER RESCUE
and SHELTER SAVIOURS. They have SPECIAL needs requiring
individual condiditions, shall we say, SACRIFICES, to make.

This is going to be a VERY SPECIAL weekend, Tatoo.

Have you finished preparing quarters for HOWER guests
Tatoo? They'll be VERY SLEEPY from their medications
when they arrive and will no DHOWET be looking forward
to some rest in their rooms.

Si, Boss. Si. I've had special boxes tailor made to fit
each individual as you sez according to their measurements.
Boss? Boss? Are you SHORE they LIKE sleeping in little boxes?

But of CURSE, Tattoo. You'll NOTICE they NEVER MESS in them.
They ONLY tend to their own personal needs while walking on
leash or in the group play pen dragging their leashes behind
them in case they need some corrections. You'll see, Tattoo.
Very special guests, you'll see... you'll see.

Boss! Boss! Here they come! Here they come! Here they come!

Oh STUFF IT Tattoo. Go grab a leash and pronged spiked
pinch ***collar and COME WITH ME, I'll need you in
case any of them become *** and try to hurt each other.

Better go back and grab that shock collar as well, Tattoo,
can't take too many chances when 'LIVES DEPEND ON US to SAVE
THEM', eh Tattoo?

But Boss! Boss! Do you REALLY THINK locking them in
small boxes and jerking *** and shocking them is
gonna SAVE THEIR LIVES?

Nooo, Tattoo. It'll teach them to RESPECT HOWER AUTHORITY.

WE will SAVE THE LIVES, Tattoo... just you and Mr. Roarke.

TRUST ME, Tattoo. This is gonna be a VERY SPECIAL weekend
for HOWER Shelter and Rescue Dog Lovers, Tattoo <{); ~ ) >

But Boss? Boss? Boss?

NHOWE WHAT, Tattoo?

You sez these are DOG people? Yet they HAVE NO DOGS
with them? Are they coming on a second plane, Boss?
The Plane! The Plane! The Plane, Boss! The Plane!

No Tattoo, that's the puddle jumper LEAVIN. HOWER
guests have made arrangements for their dogs to
be kept in city P-HOWENDS where they've only got
72 HOWERS to live, GUARANTEEING HOWER guests will
FINISH their Fantasies in a timely manner. O.K.
Tattoo, we've got to take care of HOWER guests,
machnell, machsnell Tattoo.

O.K. O.K. Boss. O.K. O.K.

WELCOME To Fantasy Island Shelter Rescue Foster
Care Givers Weekend! I'm your host Mr. Roarke,
and this is my erstwhile assistant Tattoo. DON'T
LOOK AT HIM, he's VERY SENSITIVE.

But Boss? Boss? I'm NOT sensitive. People ALWAYS
look at me, I LIKE that, Boss. People are NICE.

Shhhh, Tattoo. This is a VERY SPECIAL weekend.
Just do as I've instructed you PLEASE or you'll
BLOW IT and they'll LEAVE us and take their OTHER
PEOPLE'S money with them.

Ohhhh, I see, a SCAM, eh Boss? It's abHOWET time!

What shall I do?

Tattoo? You see that big stupid lookin WON over
there wearing the sneer on her face? THAT'S Master
Of Decepton blankman, WON of the ringleaders. Let's
take her first, but BE CAREFUL Tattoo, she's slippery
and dangerHOWES despite that off puttin stupid ignorant
look she's wearing under that sneer. Better go back and
grab that rabies pole, this might be MOORE difficult
than Mr. Roarke thought, just judging by her catatonic
stare right through you despite she was asked not to look.

But Boss? I DON'T MIND her LOOKING!

SHADDDUP Tattoo! We're TRYING to TRAIN them! Just PLAY
ALONG so we can SET HER UP for a CORRECTION. Quick Tattoo,
gimme that shock collar FAST. NHOWE slowly walk arHOWEND
and as she stares at you I'll be able to sneak up behind
her and strap this on her.

Oh? You want the strap on, Boss?

NO Tattoo, THAT'S for malinda. I'm talking abHOWET
strappin on this shock collar while you DISTRACT
her... the SHOCK will be her REWARD for NOT LOOKIN
at you someMOORE. QUICK! Make your move NHOWE, Tattoo!

Boss? Can I have the rabies pole, she looks like a MEAN WON.

Yes Tattoo, it's a familiar tool to her, she'll RESPECT
you for THAT. Go for it, Tattoo, but HURRY PLEASE! HURRY!

      "Unfortunately, some confrontation is necessary,
      just to be able to handle the dogs.  For example,
      we need to crate train a dog immediately because
      they are usually in need of medical care and they
      are in foster homes with other dogs.

      It's a safety necessity," lying "I LOVE KOEHLER" lynn.

  lyinglynn writes to a new foster care giver:
  For barking in the crate - leave the leash on and
  pass it through the crate door.  Attach a line to it.
  When he barks, use the line for a correction.

 - if necessary, go to a citronella bark collar.

  Lynn K.

BARK! ZAP! SCREAM... ZAP ... SCREAM... ZAP... SCREAM...
ZAP... SCREAM... ZAP... SCREAM... ZAP ... SCREAM

Date: 2002-08-30 04:24:13 PST

Quote:
> > Did you try it on your throat? Not very pleasant.
>  Umm, yes. As a matter of fact, I did. It the sensation
>  is actually much milder than it is on the palm, which
>  has sweat glands and so conducts more.

 You're full of crap, susan.


A friend of mine told this story about his
experience with a shock-collar:

Jim's sister-in-law had a shock collar she wanted to use
on her dog stop it from barking.

Not being very technical, she brought it over for Jim to
assemble and adjust.

Jim got it all put together and decided to try it on
himself to see which setting  would be most appropriate.

With the collar around his neck, set on minimum, Jim tried
a little bark... woof.

Nothing.... Woof Woof. Nothing....

Bark. Nothing....

Bark Bark.

Nothing...

BARK!

ZAP!

The collar worked!

Unfortunately, the zap was painful enough to make Jim scream
with pain, which the collar interpreted as another bark, which
lead to another ZAP!

Which made Jim scream again...

ZAP...

SCREAM...

ZAP...

SCREAM...

Eventually, Jim got the collar off but it never
survived the chance to end up on the dog.

(Names have been changed to protect the stupid) : )

-----------------------

GOOD BOY, Tattoo! O.K., NHOWE INTO the box with her.

But BOSS! BOSS!

BE CAREFUL Tattoo, she's been known to escape. Soon
as we get the rest of these Bozo's into their boxes
we'll be able to EAT and have some FUN till it's time
to take them all HOWET for a break and some obedience
drills. You might think this is all abHOWET ***,
but I can assure you Tatto, IT'S NOT. Don't infer from
that description that force is an intrinsic part of it,
though, because it isn't.

I know that that is what you are trying to get at,
but you'd be very wrong.

      "Granted That The Dog Who Fears Retribution
      Will Adore His Owner," lying "I LOVE KOEHLER"
      lynn.

      "Unfortunately, some confrontation is necessary,
      just to be able to handle the dogs.  For example,
      we need to crate train a dog immediately because
      they are usually in need of medical care and they
      are in foster homes with other dogs.

      It's a safety necessity," lying "I LOVE KOEHLER" lynn.

  lyinglynn writes to a new foster care giver:
  For barking in the crate - leave the leash on and
  pass it through the crate door.  Attach a line to it.
  When he barks, use the line for a correction.

 - if necessary, go to a citronella bark collar.

  Lynn K.


Quote:


> > Hello People,

> > "Huh? I've Never Reeled In A Dog In My Life.
> > I Don't Like The Long Line Method And Don't
> > Use It." lynn k.

> > Read the following and then let's discuss proofing.
> Maybe you want to read it again, Jerry.  I don't use the
> long line method of teaching a recall.  You know, the
> old "give the command and reel the dog in" thing.


Subject: Re: dog comes when he feels like it
Date: 1999/05/21

Quote:

> Does this mean no trips to the fenced off-leash dog park ?
> At what age should a dog be trained 100% ?
> What about socialization?

I've found dog parks to be great places for proofing the
recall, even with young puppies.  Let the pup play with
other pups, while on a long line.

Call the pup, reeling in if necessary, and praise the heck out
of him, then let him go play again.  The reason this works so
well at the dog park is that the pup learns that leaving the
fun to obey the command doesn't mean the fun is over.  A very
good thing to learn early.

Timing is critical here, because what you want
is for him to think ...

read more »

 
 
 

Brace Agility

Post by AnimalBehaviorForensicSciencesResearchLaborat.. » Thu, 20 Oct 2005 23:14:11


HOWEDY pat,

Quote:

> Isn't that cute -

The Amazing Puppy Wizard is known by HIS closest
friends as The Amaing "CUTSEY" Wizard <{); ~ ) >

Quote:
> feeble

The Amazing Puppy Wizard is old an frail, but
NOT "feeble", pat, as EVIDENCED by the tenacity
which HE ATTACKS dog abusers liars cowards and
ACTIVE ACUTE CHRONIC LONG TERM INCURABLE MENTAL
CASES who ***shock bribe surgically ***ly
mutilate and *** innocent defenseless dumb
critters <{); ~ ) >

Quote:
> little AssHowe thinks he's funny...

You wanna see FUNNY, pat? Stick arHOWEND when
The Amazing Puppy Wizard tells the PARENTS of
them DEAD CHILDREN HOWE COME the SAR dogs WOULDN'T
FIND their DEAD CHILDREN while they was STILL
ALIVE because they didn't wanna go back inside
their boxes and resume *** and shocking training
in preparation for their next HOWEting...

THAT'LL BE FUNNY when THEY ASK HOWE COME their
DEAD KIDS GOT DEAD right under the noses of SO
CALLED TRAINED SAR POLICE DOGS, pat <{); ~ ) >

The Amazing Puppy Wizard wants to see HOWE FEEBLE
the TRAINERS are when WE call them up on national
T.V. to EXXXPLAIN HOWE COME their SAR dogs WOULDN'T
FIND THEIR DEAD CHILDREN RIGHT UNDER THEIR NOSES
IN TIME TO SAVE THEIR LIVES, pat <{); ~ ) >

Quote:
> pathetic is a better word.

WE'LL be askin sindy *** mooreon and lying
"I LOVE KOEHLER" lynn and captain arthur haggerty
to EXXXPLAIN HOWE COME SAR DOGS FAIL TO FIND EZ
SEARCHES, like Elizabeth Smart and Jessica Lundren
and them three DEAD boys in the trunk of the car in
N.J. and the lost boy scout in the MHOWENTAINS of
Utah and chandra levy and laura hacking, amongst
other EZ searches, pat.

      Welcome To Fantasy Dog Training Island, People!

"De plane boss, de plane!"

Mr. Roarke: "Well, let's go down and welcome our
visitors, shall we, my little friend, Tattoo?"

"Oh, si boss, si! De plane, boss! De plane! De plane!"

"Si. Chill out, Tattoo. Our guests will be arriving
momentarily, pull yourself together and stop acting
like a skeevy little frootloop, Tattoo. You give Mr.
Roarke the willies when you get like this.

Ahhhh, welcome to Fantasy Dog Training Island, People!

I'm your host Mr. Roarke. You've come to Fantasy Dog
Training Island to enjoy handling and training your
dogs? Or perhaps you have some little idiocyncracy
you'd like to hmmm, shall we say ADJUST?

Excelllente!

Here on Fantasy Dog Training Island, right is wrong,
and wrong is right, and you're always in  control, even
when you kill your dogs to make bad things right, TO BE FAIR!"

"Boss, boss, boss, do you think you should mention
that part?"

"But of course, Tattoo. Here on Fantasy Dog Training
Island, we only kill our best dogs in our fantasies, where
everybody lives happily ever after, just like me an you,
my little needy friend, Tattoo!"

"But boss, boss, boss, these visitors to Fantasy Dog
Training Island have LIVE dogs, boss. They'll train them
here in their FANTASIES, but in real life, those dogs are
likely to run away, destroy their HOWESES, eat their
children and attack their guests, and they'll kill their
best dogs to be fair, for REAL, boss.  Our guests will be
going back to the real world in just a couple of days, boss...

You can't let that happen to them, boss!"

"Ahhhh, not to worry my sniveling little friend, Tattoo!
This is all FANTASY! Relax! Enjoy our guests, Tattoo.
Bring them all something refreshing from the Fantasy
Bark and Grill while I get to know some of the ***s
better. Now run along Tattoo and make our guests feel
comfortable, like they're in their own HOWES!"

 "But boss! Bosss!!!"

"Hush! Go now, Tattoo, our company awaits...

Greetings people! Are you familiar with your dog
training equipment? Have you notice your crates,
and your pronged spiked pinch ***collars?

For SHORE they LOOK like torture devices, and
in real life, they ARE torture devices, but NOT
HERE on Fantasy Dog Training Island!

Here your crate and pronged spiked pinch ***
device are YOUR FRIENDS!  I'll introduce you to
your friend the shock collar too, while we're
examining our TOOLS to enhance the bond
between trainer and dog, here on Fantasy
Dog Training Island!

Notice if you will, your aversive spray collars.
NO! Don't aim it at yourself, I can assure you,
it IS loaded..."

"But boss, bossss!!!"

"Get off my butt, you miserable cussed little dwarf.

Pay no attention to the spoiled child, People.
He's troubled and is supposed to be in his
room resting. He's harmless, and means well,
but all this e***ment seems to have overwhelmed
him. I usually take him to the park for a couple
hours a day, but today we were preparing for your
visit."

"But boss, these people are going to lock their dogs
in boxes and shock and ***their dogs, thinking
they're TRAINING them!"

"Relax Tattoo! Go to your room while I explain to
them HOWE the crate teaches the dog his box is his
HOWES that he should respect. I'll teach them that
locking IT in the box to control behaviors they
can't train, is GOOD! We'll say cratomg teaches
IT, BONDING!!! Now go to your room, Tattoo, you're
overtired.

We'll tell them their dogs LIKE responsibility and
are asking for punishment when the dog questions
authority, just like you enjoy, Tattoo. You're fine
with the mild static like stimulation of your shock
collar, are you not, my little friend? Now run along
to your room."

"But boss,"

"'ZAP!' Bad Tattoo! You shouldn't be disrespectful,
you impertinent little troll."

"Ouch! But boss!"

"ZAP!"

"Ouch! But boss! That'll make their dogs hyperactive,
vicious, and scared in real life, and might get
them DEAD, boss!"

"Relax Tattoo, this is Fantasy Dog Training Island!"

But this ain't no FANTASY, People. This is real life...

Dogs DIE because of our ineffective, inappropriate
handling and training tactics as taught by our REAL
LIFE Fantasy Dog Trainers here on rpdb and in the
dog behavior industry.

Your Puppy Wizard. <YPW;~}

Try this:

To whom it may concern,

My name is Crystal Arcidy and I am the proud owner of a
beautiful 3 year old white German Shepherd named Starr.

I am writing to inform you of a training method that is
truly amazing. Starr is by nature very cautious and
fearful and because of this and my not knowing how
to handle it she became environmentally shy as well.

Before Starr came into my life I never would have
believed that a dog could be the way she was
unless it had been badly abused or trained to be
aggressive.

Now I'm finding out more and more that there are lots
of dogs with serious behavior problems who were never
abused, but mishandled.

Before I tell you about my experience with Jerry Howe,
Doggy Do Right, and  the Wits End Dog Training Technique
I would like to relate to you Starr's story so you'll have a
better understanding as to what I was dealing with:

Starr was three months old when I brought her home from
a local pet shop. A  few days later a friend came by to see
her and that was when I first saw that Starr was by no
means friendly.

She was so shy she tried to pull away and hide. I was told
that dogs go through a "fear stage"  and thought that was all
I was dealing with. But after a week or two Starr began barking
protectively at  guests and neighbors from inside the house.

The only way I could stop the barking, and later howling, was
if I picked her up and held her.

Outside Starr's behavior was not protective it was horribly
fearful. It got  to the point that when I would ask, "You want
to go outside?" Starr would run the other way and dodge me
so I would make her go.

She went out only to relieve herself and then she'd dash back
to the house. I could not take her for walks and she wouldn't
even sit on my back deck without crying.

Starr was afraid of other dogs, people, cars, loud noises, open
spaces....everything. I was sure that she had the potential of
becoming a fear biter and that worried me.

I spoke with an amateur dog trainer who said that shepherd's
are sometimes fearful as puppies, especially females, and
that training and socializing would help. She said I could bring
Starr to the vet and just sit with her so she could watch the
other dogs. But Starr was a  nervous wreck in the vets.

She would get in a corner and shake terribly. It didn't seem
like it was helping at all with my dog's anxiety and I asked
the vet what to do to get her over her fears.The doctor
recommended a trainer/behaviorist and we called and set
up a meeting. And so I took Starr to her first trainer at six
months old.

She was terrified. The trainer assured me that he could
'get her through' her fears. He explained to me how training
would lessen Starr's anxiety and build confidence.

Because Starr was so timid he wanted to start out with
clicker training. He said it was the best form of training for
shy dogs.

He instructed me to get a thin three foot stick to be the focus,
the object being Starr would learn to follow the stick. Every
time she touched it with her nose she got a click and a treat.

After I got Starr home it only took about a minute for Starr to
get the idea. But these results were restricted to inside my
house.  When I took Starr outside or to her lessons  she was
just too nervous to care about eating. The reward was not worth it.

All Starr wanted was to get back  to the house, where she
felt safe. When the trainer realized that Starr was too
uncomfortable at his place he  suggested we meet and
work at my house.

It was then that he saw that Starr was not going to
progress using the clicker training. [Forcing food into
her mouth didn't make her want to eat it] So he reverted
to conventional methods.

*(The "BALANCED TRAINER" IOW, knows WHEN to HURT... jh.)

We started using a flat collar but with all the pulling Starr
would do the  trainer quickly advised me to purchase a ***
chain. I did so and he showed me how to use it. I was very
hesitant but he assured me that I could not hurt the dog.

We continued working in an area Starr was pretty
comfortable in, then proceeded out to the street.  Starr was
very ...

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