Moon's Graden

   I have a pet problem, that I'm hoping somebody will be able to give
me some advice about. I don't know if this is the right place to be
seeking advice but no one else knows what to do so I will try..

  My problem concerns my pet dog, Boofer.  Boofer is a Black Curly
Retriever
He was given to me by my Aunty as a present 6 months ago. Boofer is a
very ugly animal and is sometimes very stupid. On Thursday of last week,
When I came back from a week long ski trip, I found Boofer had gotten
out of his cage and had been playing over the road in the railroad
workshops. His upper body and head was covered in greasy oil. I had to
wash him before I could put him backin his cage. I tried Shampoo and
Dish washing Detergent, but these did not seem to be doing much. I
borrowed a large bottle of Terpintine from my neighbour who helped me
give boofer a thorough scrubdown. it took a lot of the oil out but
unfortunately the terps reacted with Boofer's skin and eyes. For the
past week Boofer has been scratching continuosly. He has scratched so on
his neck that most of his hair has been scraped off. His eyelids have
swelled so much that he can't open them and he is not eating the food
scraps that I'm giving him. looking at Boofer I can see that he is
crying out of his eyes, sometimes seeing that he is in extreme pain
makes me almost feel sorry for him, even though he is is a dog. Boofer's
constant whining and weeping is keeping me awake at nights and I am
starting to think that getting boofer wasn't such a cool present after
all. I've had nightmares of Boofer breaking into the house and rubbing
his hairless neck onto the table, and leaving oil and *** stains on
it. Just the thought of him coming into the house is bad enough, let
alone the way he looks at the moment. The reason I am writing is that I
am hoping somebody can answer these questions:-

1> How many weeks can a dog survive without eating?

2> how can I open his eyes?

3> How can I stop Boofer from whining all night?, it is driving me crazy.

4> When Boofer is allright to touch again, how can I get the rest of the
   oil of his hair

  I realise that a lot of you will be thinking that I am foolish for ever
letting Boofer out of his cage, but he pushed his own way out and I
wasn't in town when he did it. boofer is really starting to mess up my back yard and I want to put him back in his cage as soon as p=
ossible.

  So please, if you can answer my questions, or you have any opinions that you would care to share with me then please send me a let=
ter, if not for the animals sake then to cheer me up.

I have one more question.
5> I am thinking of buying a cat, does anyone know of a good breed that
   won't fight with boofer when I leave them home together?

 THANKYOU FOR READING THIS AND I WILL BE VERY HAPPY IF YOU CAN ALL HELP ME CLEAN THIS THING UP(excuse the pun)

                                                                                                                               Yours Sincerely  Mathew Goodwin
                                       -a dogs best friend.

Dear God, I hope this was a joke or a troll or something. I hope this is
some little *** kid chuckling in his darkened room wondering how many
people he will hook with this story. I truly hope it's some sick lie.

Because I cannot believe that someone would actually be this stupid.

However, in the off chance that someone -is- this stupid, allow me to echo
the subject header with one of my own:

PLEASE HELP YOUR OWN DOG AND TAKE HIM TO THE VET TO THE VET TO THE VET!!!
GOT IT? DID YOU HEAR ME? TO THE VET VET VET VET VET VET VET!!!

Then, once you have described events to the vet as you have here, and have
gotten "boofer" proper treatment, please ask the vet to pour turpentine
into -your- eyes just so you know what it feels like. After that, please
ask the vet to take custody of "boofer" and find a rescue organization for
him.

Because, if this is not some sick joke of yours, if somehow this story of
yours is the truth...you obviously don't know shit about caring for
animals. Please do us all a favor and don't own any more. Ever.

No one could possibly be this stupid.  Go away.

Christine

Drat, Mark Goodwin managed to get a couple of angry responses here. Oh
well.  Maybe when he has had his chuckle he will go away for a while.

A truly juvenile story too incredible to be believed but unfortunately
some people are just that stupid so no one wanted to take the chance.

Sigh, it is rather pathetic isn't it?

--
Diane Blackman  

_  _  _  _  _  _  _  _  _  _  _  _  _  _  _  _  _
Be true to your own principles, and hold to them,
else complain not when the world runs contrary.

: >Drat, Mark Goodwin managed to get a couple of angry responses here. Oh
: >well.  Maybe when he has had his chuckle he will go away for a while.

: Who, or perhaps I should say What, is a Mark Goodwin?

  ARTICLE 5 OF 25

Subject:      Puffed out, but otherwise fine!

Date:         1995/11/13

Organization: Electrical Engineering, University of Canterbury, New Zealand
Newsgroups:   rec.climbing

<snipping the message>
Cheers,

Mark.

--
Diane Blackman  

_  _  _  _  _  _  _  _  _  _  _  _  _  _  _  _  _
You must speak to be heard.  Silence assumes assent.

I WISH TO APOLIGIZE TO ANYBODTY THAT I HAVE UPSET.

THE LETTERS ON THE REC.PETS COLUMNS ABOUT BOOFER AND CRYSTAL WERE NOT
TRUE AND WERE ONLY SUPPOSED TO BE A JOKE.

I REALISE THAT I HAVE UPSET PEOPLE, AND I AGAIN APOLIGIZE, I DID NOT
EXPECT PEOPLE TO TAKE IT SERIOUSLY.

THE CHARACTERS MENTIONED IN THESE STORIES WERE FICTITIOUS.

Anybody else out there besides me think this is a troll??
Lois S
Dogs 9

:    I have a pet problem, that I'm hoping somebody will be able to give
: me some advice about. I don't know if this is the right place to be
: seeking advice but no one else knows what to do so I will try..
:    
:   My problem concerns my pet dog, Boofer.  Boofer is a Black Curly
: Retriever
: He was given to me by my Aunty as a present 6 months ago. Boofer is a
: very ugly animal and is sometimes very stupid. On Thursday of last week,
: When I came back from a week long ski trip, I found Boofer had gotten
: out of his cage and had been playing over the road in the railroad
: workshops. His upper body and head was covered in greasy oil. I had to
: wash him before I could put him backin his cage. I tried Shampoo and
: Dish washing Detergent, but these did not seem to be doing much. I
: borrowed a large bottle of Terpintine from my neighbour who helped me
: give boofer a thorough scrubdown. it took a lot of the oil out but
: unfortunately the terps reacted with Boofer's skin and eyes. For the
: past week Boofer has been scratching continuosly. He has scratched so on
: his neck that most of his hair has been scraped off. His eyelids have
: swelled so much that he can't open them and he is not eating the food
: scraps that I'm giving him. looking at Boofer I can see that he is
: crying out of his eyes, sometimes seeing that he is in extreme pain
: makes me almost feel sorry for him, even though he is is a dog. Boofer's
: constant whining and weeping is keeping me awake at nights and I am
: starting to think that getting boofer wasn't such a cool present after
: all. I've had nightmares of Boofer breaking into the house and rubbing
: his hairless neck onto the table, and leaving oil and *** stains on
: it. Just the thought of him coming into the house is bad enough, let
: alone the way he looks at the moment. The reason I am writing is that I
: am hoping somebody can answer these questions:-

: 1> How many weeks can a dog survive without eating?

: >I think that if boofer could see the food on the ground, then maybe he >would eat it. I've tried to open his eyes but they are cove=
: red in a slimy >liquid film, and I don't want to touch them.

: 2> how can I open his eyes?

: 3> How can I stop Boofer from whining all night?, it is driving me crazy.

: 4> When Boofer is allright to touch again, how can I get the rest of the
:    oil of his hair

:   I realise that a lot of you will be thinking that I am foolish for ever
: letting Boofer out of his cage, but he pushed his own way out and I
: wasn't in town when he did it. boofer is really starting to mess up my back yard and I want to put him back in his cage as soon as p=
: ossible.

:   So please, if you can answer my questions, or you have any opinions that you would care to share with me then please send me a let=
: ter, if not for the animals sake then to cheer me up.

: I have one more question.
: 5> I am thinking of buying a cat, does anyone know of a good breed that
:    won't fight with boofer when I leave them home together?

:  THANKYOU FOR READING THIS AND I WILL BE VERY HAPPY IF YOU CAN ALL HELP ME CLEAN THIS THING UP(excuse the pun)

:                      
:                                                                                                                              Yours Sincerely  Mathew Goodwin
:                                        -a dogs best friend.

Well that's all fine and good, Diane, and thanks for that info, but again:
Who or What is this Goodman person, and why does he pull this crap? Has he
done it elsewhere? Are things that slow in NZ?

I can't even get angry over this. Just have to wonder what kind of
diseased mind would do this. Who is this "Mark," and what is his neurosis?

TROLL ALERT!  TROLL ALERT!  TROLL ALERT!

This appeared on another this I'm on.  They were delighted, as I'm sure
we all are...

Lyn

: Well that's all fine and good, Diane, and thanks for that info, but again:
: Who or What is this Goodman person, and why does he pull this crap? Has he
: done it elsewhere? Are things that slow in NZ?
  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Yeah, the said mentally-challenged person seems to like making stupid
troll posts to various groups.  (Gives a really good impression for himself,
his department, and his school, wouldn't you say?  There's just no
mistaking intelligence.  ;)  ;)  )

When it pulls up something with his address as author, click on that
author link to get a list of all his posts.

He also fancies himself a rugby player/fan I gather.  Uh huh, sure.
I personally doubt that he has the guts for sports.  :)  "Hit and
run on the net" is more the mark of a coward than a sportsman.  :)

The only (and I do mean only) intelligent thing I've seen in the few
posts of his that I've viewed is where he tells other people in
rec.martial-Arts to ignore another troll.

--Pearl