by Has anyone reading this group ever been involved in a court battle about
their dog with an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend? And if you have been, how
was it resolved? I'd be grateful especially for any information about the
court's definition of ownership, and if they are likely to handle things
the way they do with a child. (From reading rec.pets.dogs for the last
few years, I know this is one place I won't be given a hard time for
feeling that way about my dog.)
Here's as condensed a version of the story as I can manage. Our dog is a
little over three years old, and the sweetest, nuttiest, smartest dog I
have ever had the pleasure of knowing. My ex-boyfriend and I bought her
together. He has the license, I paid most of the vet bills, we both
raised and trained her with equal devotion. After we broke up a year and
a half ago, we've each been keeping her for a week at a time. In spite of
all that has happened between us, I would never try to keep her from him,
even though it would make my life a lot more bearable. I think it's only
fair for both to be able to see her because we raised her together, and
because we're both so attached to her, and she to us.
The arrangement started out okay, but it's become more and more of a
struggle to get her back when it's my turn to have her, and he's been
keeping her longer and longer. He'll do things like plan to take her to
the woods on a weekend when he knows I'm supposed to have her, and then
throw a fit if I say I had stuff I had planned to do with her too. Too
often I would end up giving in. If I didn't, he would start making
roundabout threats of keeping her for good, like "this isn't working and
somebody's going to have to lose out," and I wanted to keep it from
getting all out *** because I know what he's capable of. Yesterday it
finally happened. He announced that I can't see her anymore because "this
isn't working", and just took her. Case closed. The whole time this
conversation was taking place she was like my shadow, sticking to my
side, looking into my eyes to try to understand what was going on, and
frantically***ing my face (she always does this when I'm upset, even if
I'm not crying, she picks up on everything).
The idea of resolving this in court is really horrible to me, but it's
the only way I'll ever see her again. But the way he is about having
things 100% his way is going to make it really tough. Lately he's been
saying a lot of things like "you don't want me as an enemy" in the
context of problems he's having with other people, but so often that I
think he was just trying to set a tone for what he was planning to do, to
scare me so I give up on ever seeing her again. (This kind of thing has a
lot to do with why we broke up.)
I feel like someone has ripped my heart out, I love that dog so much. I
spent hours today looking at my hundreds of pictures of all her funny,
crazy little antics, her cute expressions, all the fun we have together,
and it hurts so much I can't stand it. I can't stand to be without her.
Carla