Well, I see that I have been rightfully accused and condemmed of wrongfully
posting in HTML and posting a JPG on this text newsgroup. I have to say
that I am not a selfish person, nor do I think that anything I do or say is
of importance. That I've managed to step on the feelings and attitudes so
very efficiently lately shows me that I need to back off and retreat.
I am NOT saying this to get responses for me "not to leave!" I am not
asking for such things. It's really hard for me to lurk and not respond to
things because I truely enjoy and need to visit and contribute to this
newsgroup. I've been here for over seven years, and despite that in the
past, so many enjoyed my postings about my fairy gardens and adventures
about the cats, dogs and such, I think that it has come time to pull out for
I can't seem to get anything right lately,and that isn't meant as pity or
blame or excuse. My job at Lowes doesn't have any schedule that is
consistant, or enough hours to make it worth my time to drive not only
myself to work which is only 14 miles one way, but to take oldest son to
another Lowes which is 47 miles away, one way.
I have close shifts all this week, and then next week, as a wonderful thing,
I have ALTERNATE days off. work, off, work, off, work, off. This will make
me slightly mad (as in crazy). Bad enough I don't know sometimes if I'm
coming or going with this job. And I can't afford to just give notice and
get another job. I am still in an area where to quit a job that pays $7.80
an hour (despite not getting or being allowed to work more than 27 hours) is
foolish when the alternative is work at a job that still won't give me more
hours and pay me minimum wages.
Getting back to my rudeness and irresponsibility........I never meant to
cause deletion of posts. I still grieve over the loss and inability to
retrieve my previous posts from years past when I first came here. It's
just a feeling, and eventually I'll get over it.
But I will say that the people here (most of them, about 99%) have kept me
from major depression and given me a reason to not only continue gardening,
but to see the magic in every blossom and textured leaf and Nature around me
better. For what little bit it's worth (and I hate to admit my weakness), I
really DO care what people think or say about me, meaning I guess after 52
years I still have feelings despite years of verbal and emotional abuse.
Warren, Travis, Janet......I sincerely apologize for disrupting this
newsgroup. I had no idea how pissed off or inconsiderate it was to not only
post in HTML or post a picture that I thought was awesome for me to capture
even for a novice like myself. You can be assured you will not see me here
for quite awhile and I will just visit some of the Garden neighborhood
friends thru e-mail as I can.
As giving and generous and I have always been, to have been accused of being
selfish cuts pretty well. Despite just having to only correct the problem,
I think I need to back off for awhile and despite that this is my most
magical time of the year to share the gifts of my 9 raised beds, it's just
not right for me to assume anything anymore. Bad enough that newsgroups
are being dropped. I only go to one. This one. That's been it (with rare
exception to alt.bianaries.pictures.gardens, which like I said, I never get
to see pictures I see remarks about anyway and seems to be a waste of time,
and I've posted there a few times.)
So with great emotion, I'll walk away. I'll possibly be back before spring
is over. I probably rely too much on this computer and newsgroup anyway.
Time to get back outside in the soil and dirt and anything neat I want to
share, I'll just send thru e-mail if I get overcome by words.
Marilyn the madgardener, up on the ridge, back in Faerie Holler, overlooking
English Mountain in Eastern Tennessee, zone 7, Sunset zone 36