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Post by $inn » Sun, 04 Feb 2001 05:22:54

Today, we mourn the passing of an old friend by the name of Common
Sense. Common Sense lived a long life but died from heart failure at
the brink of the millennium.

No one really knows how old he was since his birth records were long
ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He selflessly devoted his life to
service in schools, hospitals, homes, factories and offices, helping
folks get jobs done without fanfare or foolishness. For decades, petty
rules, silly laws and frivolous lawsuits held no power over Common
Sense. He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know
when to come in out of the rain, the early bird gets the worm and life
isn't always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend
more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (the ***s are
in charge, not the kids). A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the
Great Depression, and the Technology revolution, Common Sense survived
cultural trends including body piercing, whole language, new math, and
don't ask don't tell. But his health declined when he became infected
with the "If-It-Only-Helps-One-Person-It's-Worth-It" virus.

In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for the ravages
of federal regulation. He watched in pain as good people became ruled
by lawyers and auditors. His health rapidly deteriorated when schools
implemented policies where a 6-year old boy is charged with ***
harassment for kissing a classmate, a *** is suspended for taking a
swig of mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher is fired for reprimanding
an unruly student.

Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments
became contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received
better treatment than victims, and federal judges invaded everything
from Boy Scouts to professional sports. As the end neared, Common
Sense drifted in and out of logic, but was kept informed of
developments regarding regulations for asbestos, low flow toilets,
smart guns, and mandatory air bags and he was in dis-belief when told
that the homeowners associations restricted exterior furniture only to
that which enhanced property values. It was the aftermath of the 2000
Presidential election that caused him to breathe his last breath.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust; his
wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son Reason.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.