by In no particular order:
* Parrots are very complicated.
* They're harder to care for than dogs or cats.
* If I get a parrot the chances of getting bitten sooner or later
are 100%.
* Any parrot bigger than a***atiel can draw *** when it bites.
The bigger the bird, the more stitches I'll need.
****atoos are very affectionate but need a lot of attention.
Otherwise they'll go crazy and pluck their feathers out or scream
all day, making me REAL popular with the landlady.
* Hand raised baby parrots at the pet store are gentle and
affectionate but can turn into demons when they grow up.
* Love birds and quakers tend to bite off the toes of any other
birds walking on top of their cage.
* African grays are among the most intelligent. That means that
they're much more creative about getting into mischief.
* Any parrot caught in the act will be absolutely brazen about it.
They have no conception of conscience.
* Any bird that bonds to me is liable to attack my other friends
(human or animal).
* If I get two birds at the same time to keep each other company,
neither one will be a good companion to *me*.
* If I get only one bird and leave it alone all day it will get
bored and can end up screaming and pullings its feathers out.
* If I let a bird fly around the apartment to get exercise, I'll
have splotchy white droppings everywhere. Also my furniture
will get demolished.
* Once I make a mistake with an African gray, the bird
will hate me for life. (There goes a $2000 investment).
* I'm bound to make a mistake due to inexperience.
* Every bird for sale in the classifieds is probably sick. Vet bills
alone will more than use up any money saved.
* Every bird for sale in the classifieds will feel betrayed and
emotionally disturbed on being sold (rejected from its flock).
If this happens enough times the bird will end up incurably insane.
Therefore every bird-for-sale ad in the classifieds is a tragedy.
* It's going to cost me a small fortune to keep any bird larger
than a***atiel.
* Any cage I get will be too small.
* Lories and lorikeets consume sweet liquids and produce large
quantities of watery droppings which they spray as far as possible.
* Amazons are domineering tyrants.
* Parrots are extremely conservative. Once a daily routine is
established, the bird will go ballistic at the slightest change.
* I'm going to have to learn whole new ways to "play" with
a bird (see next item). (Note: no one had to give me lessons
on how to play with the toy poodle upstairs.)
* Never put one's fingers in front of a birds face. I did this
with a baby Senegal hen, lightly playing with its beak, which
it seemed to like, gently nipping my fingers in return. But then
the pet store lady rushed over, saying, "Never do that!"
* Always hold a bird close to your body. If held at arm's length
it will think you're being stand-offish and take offense.
* A parrot is liable to take offense at just about anything.
* I'm _still_ trying to figure out why I want one.
Regards, Sean
ps. The poodle upstairs is very affectionate. She always greets
me happily when I get home. She never bites, except playfully.
She doesn't get startled out of her mind if I bring a large object
like a lamp stand into the room. She doesn't run away if I take her
outside off the leash. And she never sits there glowering at me
like some gargoyle on the roof of Notre Dame cathedral!