Why am I always the goat?

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Why am I always the goat?

Post by David Yehuda » Tue, 15 Feb 2000 04:00:00



Hi, All
    Seems I'm always the one getting in trouble
around here, and it's not my fault!
    Just a few minutes ago Patty was frying some
fish nuggets for us for a snack. The fryer isn't
very big, and she could only do a few at a time.
As she finished a batch, she would dump them onto
a plate on the dining table and start another
batch. I, of course, sat there like a perfect
gentleman waiting for her to finish and sit down
with me so we could eat together.
    When she dumped the second batch, she gave me
a surprised look but didn't say a word. With the
third batch came a hard look and a "You must
really be hungry." The fourth batch got me a glare
and a "Save me a couple of bites, at least. You
aren't the only one here, you know."
    She turned her back in a snit, growling under
her breath. That's when I looked at the plate and
saw a little paw come up from under the table and
snag the last piece of fish. Whish!!! It was gone.

    I ducked my head and looked under the table to
see both Sasha and Willoughby on the seat of a
chair pulled under the table, both of them
scarfing down fish as fast as they could gobble.
They had even dropped a couple of pieces on the
floor for Mac.
    You know, by the time Patty came back, the
little hairy varmint critters were gone, and she
never did believe me!
Cheers,
Dave

--

Do you know what it means to come home to a loving
woman,
a kind word, a gentle caress; to have peace and
quiet, a
home-cooked meal, and lots of great loving?
It means you're in the wrong house!

 
 
 

Why am I always the goat?

Post by CATherin » Wed, 16 Feb 2000 04:00:00


Hilarious!! Ha,ha,ha, guffaw, ROFL!!!

I remember too many years ago having a cat named Lucifer (for good reason).
One evening we were eating dinner off trays in front of the tv, watching a
really good show (I guess it wasn't so good cause I don't remember it).
Lucifer was sitting on a foot stool near me and I was feeding him tidbits of
ham. Then the movie got really interesting and I neglected to feed him his
share. He waited patiently (for him) for me to resume my duty to him. But,
alas, I was caught up in the movie. Next thing I knew a long *** arm
reached out and raked off ALL the ham on to the floor! But it didn't make a
mess; the dog did his duty at vacuuming and shampooing the car.

Fortunately, I had witnesses! "grin" They laughed their asses off but they
didn't offer to share their ham with me!

CATherine


Quote:
> Hi, All
>     Seems I'm always the one getting in trouble
> around here, and it's not my fault!

<snip>
Quote:
>     You know, by the time Patty came back, the
> little hairy varmint critters were gone, and she
> never did believe me!
> Cheers,
> Dave

> --

> Do you know what it means to come home to a loving
> woman,
> a kind word, a gentle caress; to have peace and
> quiet, a
> home-cooked meal, and lots of great loving?
> It means you're in the wrong house!

 
 
 

Why am I always the goat?

Post by helen » Wed, 16 Feb 2000 04:00:00




fantastic yarn snipped...

Quote:
>    You know, by the time Patty came back, the
>little hairy varmint critters were gone, and she
>never did believe me!
>Cheers,
>Dave

(look of wide eyed amazement as I type) Lord, Dave, Patty not believe
*you*! Now there's something I just cannot believe.....

Some pigs flew by my living room window earlier today.

*hugs* helen s

Quote:
>--

>Do you know what it means to come home to a loving
>woman,
>a kind word, a gentle caress; to have peace and
>quiet, a
>home-cooked meal, and lots of great loving?
>It means you're in the wrong house!

Love us, love ower hoomin...
 
 
 

Why am I always the goat?

Post by sandpi.. » Wed, 16 Feb 2000 04:00:00


More years ago than I even want to think about we had a cat named Ivan the
Terrible and a dauschaund named Murphy.  These two would often work in tandem
to snag goodies from the kitchen table or the countertop while the cooks back
was turned.
We were preparing for my sisters wedding rehearsal dinner which was to be a
very informal buffet with cold meats and cheese and salads.  The meal was all
prepared, the table beautifully set and waiting for guests to arrive.  The dog
and cat were safely ensconced behind closed doors in one of the upstairs
bedrooms.  We arrived home from the rehearsal to find the entire meat and
cheese array gone except for one piece of beef*** from the claw of one
Ivan and about to disappear into the mouth of one Murphy.  The salads were
untouched but the dog and cat were gorged and rehearsal dinner was ruined.

We discovered later than my young nephew didn't understand why the cat and dog
had been shut into the bedroom since they normally had the run of the house
and simply let them out before we left.

My mother, with her usual You-can't-scare-me-I'm-the-mother-of-six attitute
simply shooed everyone into the living room for salad and liquid refreshments
and scoured the kitchen for replacement food.  God only knows where she found
it but it was a wonderful spread and provided this (now) grey haired Granny
with a very funny memory of former pets and another very warm memory of Mom.

'Piper

Quote:
>Hi, All
>    Seems I'm always the one getting in trouble
>around here, and it's not my fault!
>    Just a few minutes ago Patty was frying some
>fish nuggets for us for a snack. The fryer isn't
>very big, and she could only do a few at a time.
>As she finished a batch, she would dump them onto
>a plate on the dining table and start another
>batch. I, of course, sat there like a perfect
>gentleman waiting for her to finish and sit down
>with me so we could eat together.
>    When she dumped the second batch, she gave me
>a surprised look but didn't say a word. With the
>third batch came a hard look and a "You must
>really be hungry." The fourth batch got me a glare
>and a "Save me a couple of bites, at least. You
>aren't the only one here, you know."
>    She turned her back in a snit, growling under
>her breath. That's when I looked at the plate and
>saw a little paw come up from under the table and
>snag the last piece of fish. Whish!!! It was gone.

>    I ducked my head and looked under the table to
>see both Sasha and Willoughby on the seat of a
>chair pulled under the table, both of them
>scarfing down fish as fast as they could gobble.
>They had even dropped a couple of pieces on the
>floor for Mac.
>    You know, by the time Patty came back, the
>little hairy varmint critters were gone, and she
>never did believe me!
>Cheers,
>Dave

 
 
 

Why am I always the goat?

Post by Rob and Pam Shir » Wed, 16 Feb 2000 04:00:00


Geez, they flew by my house this afternoon.  I can't imagine why Patty
wouldn't believe Dave, its not like he would stretch the truth or
anything.

Pam S.

Quote:



> fantastic yarn snipped...

> >    You know, by the time Patty came back, the
> >little hairy varmint critters were gone, and she
> >never did believe me!
> >Cheers,
> >Dave

> (look of wide eyed amazement as I type) Lord, Dave, Patty not believe
> *you*! Now there's something I just cannot believe.....

> Some pigs flew by my living room window earlier today.

> *hugs* helen s

 
 
 

Why am I always the goat?

Post by David Yehuda » Wed, 16 Feb 2000 04:00:00


Exactly.


Quote:
> Geez, they flew by my house this afternoon.  I can't imagine why Patty
> wouldn't believe Dave, its not like he would stretch the truth or
> anything.

 
 
 

Why am I always the goat?

Post by David Yehuda » Wed, 16 Feb 2000 04:00:00


Hard to figure, isn't it? :-)
Quote:
> (look of wide eyed amazement as I type) Lord, Dave, Patty not believe
> *you*! Now there's something I just cannot believe.....

 
 
 

Why am I always the goat?

Post by Yowi » Wed, 16 Feb 2000 04:00:00


<snip another hilarious Yehudah Yarn>

Quote:
>     Seems I'm always the one getting in trouble
> around here, and it's not my fault!

Hmmm. David, if you are anything like Joel, its a case of the boy who cried
wolf, or more correctly, the man that called cat & dog.

Joel says "it was the cat" or "it was the dog" so often, I don't believe him
at all, even if it *was* Shmogg or Fluffy that particular time.

Yowie

 
 
 

Why am I always the goat?

Post by Sharon Fa » Thu, 17 Feb 2000 04:00:00


Quote:

> Hi, All
>     Seems I'm always the one getting in trouble
> around here, and it's not my fault!
>     Just a few minutes ago Patty was frying some
> fish nuggets for us for a snack. The fryer isn't
> very big, and she could only do a few at a time.
> As she finished a batch, she would dump them onto
> a plate on the dining table and start another
> batch. I, of course, sat there like a perfect
> gentleman waiting for her to finish and sit down
> with me so we could eat together.
>     When she dumped the second batch, she gave me
> a surprised look but didn't say a word. With the
> third batch came a hard look and a "You must
> really be hungry." The fourth batch got me a glare
> and a "Save me a couple of bites, at least. You
> aren't the only one here, you know."
>     She turned her back in a snit, growling under
> her breath. That's when I looked at the plate and
> saw a little paw come up from under the table and
> snag the last piece of fish. Whish!!! It was gone.

>     I ducked my head and looked under the table to
> see both Sasha and Willoughby on the seat of a
> chair pulled under the table, both of them
> scarfing down fish as fast as they could gobble.
> They had even dropped a couple of pieces on the
> floor for Mac.
>     You know, by the time Patty came back, the
> little hairy varmint critters were gone, and she
> never did believe me!
> Cheers,
> Dave

Hi,
It seems that Sasha & Willoughby have their act down "just pat".
You know, of course, that cats / cat & dog work in teams ??
Don't worry, I believe you, having seen something similar happen.
(I Just hope that "Patty" is reading this. Besides, all she had to do was
smell your breath, to believe).
Cheers !  :-))
(Sharon)
____________________

Quote:
> Do you know what it means to come home to a loving
> woman,
> a kind word, a gentle caress; to have peace and
> quiet, a
> home-cooked meal, and lots of great loving?
> It means you're in the wrong house!

--
Sharon.
Pray for Tigers.
 
 
 

Why am I always the goat?

Post by Sharon Fa » Thu, 17 Feb 2000 04:00:00


Quote:



> fantastic yarn snipped...

>>    You know, by the time Patty came back, the
>>little hairy varmint critters were gone, and she
>>never did believe me!
>>Cheers,
>>Dave

> (look of wide eyed amazement as I type) Lord, Dave, Patty not believe
> *you*! Now there's something I just cannot believe.....

> Some pigs flew by my living room window earlier today.

> *hugs* helen s

________________________  

Gad! you crack me up!  Pigs flying!   LOL!!!
(Sharon)
________________________

Quote:
>>Do you know what it means to come home to a loving
>>woman,
>>a kind word, a gentle caress; to have peace and
>>quiet, a
>>home-cooked meal, and lots of great loving?
>>It means you're in the wrong house!

> Love us, love ower hoomin...

--
Sharon.
Pray for Tigers.
 
 
 

Why am I always the goat?

Post by David Yehuda » Thu, 17 Feb 2000 04:00:00


Quote:

> all she had to do was smell your breath, to believe).

Heck, no. Then she'd know what happened to her beer. :-)
Cheers,
Dave
--

Man who scratches private places should not bite fingernails.

 
 
 

Why am I always the goat?

Post by David Yehuda » Thu, 17 Feb 2000 04:00:00


That's what Aunt Polly always told Tom
Sawyer. :-)

Quote:

> It's like my daddy always said:  "You may not deserve the *** this
> time, but I know there was a time you deserved it and I didn't know about
> it."  :-)

> Hazel Az

--

Man who scratches private places should not
bite fingernails.

 
 
 

Why am I always the goat?

Post by Miss Februar » Fri, 18 Feb 2000 04:00:00


A friend of mine was having a big party so she went to the fish market and
bout 5 lbs of jumbo shrimp.  When she got home she rinsed them in the sink
and left them to drain for 5 min.  Biiiiggggg mistake!  When she returned
her cat had taken one bite out of a bunch of them.  The cat was set for a
week on a shrimp diet.

I was eatting some leftover Domas (stuffed grape leaves) one evening when
quicker than lightning my Spanky jumped up, nabbed and took off with one of
them.  He had never done this before or since (although sometimes when I'm
eatting I will see a little paw feeling around at the edge of the tabletop).
The smell must have just overcome him.  He devoured it in seconds.


Quote:
> Hi, All
>     Seems I'm always the one getting in trouble
> around here, and it's not my fault!
>     Just a few minutes ago Patty was frying some
> fish nuggets for us for a snack. The fryer isn't
> very big, and she could only do a few at a time.
> As she finished a batch, she would dump them onto
> a plate on the dining table and start another
> batch. I, of course, sat there like a perfect
> gentleman waiting for her to finish and sit down
> with me so we could eat together.
>     When she dumped the second batch, she gave me
> a surprised look but didn't say a word. With the
> third batch came a hard look and a "You must
> really be hungry." The fourth batch got me a glare
> and a "Save me a couple of bites, at least. You
> aren't the only one here, you know."
>     She turned her back in a snit, growling under
> her breath. That's when I looked at the plate and
> saw a little paw come up from under the table and
> snag the last piece of fish. Whish!!! It was gone.

>     I ducked my head and looked under the table to
> see both Sasha and Willoughby on the seat of a
> chair pulled under the table, both of them
> scarfing down fish as fast as they could gobble.
> They had even dropped a couple of pieces on the
> floor for Mac.
>     You know, by the time Patty came back, the
> little hairy varmint critters were gone, and she
> never did believe me!
> Cheers,
> Dave

> --

> Do you know what it means to come home to a loving
> woman,
> a kind word, a gentle caress; to have peace and
> quiet, a
> home-cooked meal, and lots of great loving?
> It means you're in the wrong house!