Oh what the heck here is the original so you can compare!
WHEN I AM AN OLD WOMAN
When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.
You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and a pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes
But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We will have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old and start to wear purple.
Jenny Joseph, author
and the darling mirror poem posted earlier (Thanks Marie!!):
> When I Am An Old Cat
> When I Am An Old Cat I shall wear
> a diamond collar and leave my footprints
> on white couches; I shall drink my cream with
> a touch of brandy and spit out my vitamins;
> I shall sit on the laps of dog people
> just to irritate them; I shall nap on top of the
> neighbor's petunias and perch on top of
> birdbaths and grow charmingly chubby.
> But for now I must tolerate the dog
> and use my litter box and not sharpen
> my claws on the sofa, so no one can doubt
> the truth that cats are superior to dogs.
> But every once in a while I wonder
> if I should be *** now and then
> and nip a few toes, so my humans
> won't be too shocked when suddenly
> I become an old cat and
> start to wear a diamond collar.