Excerpts from a Cat's Diary

Description of your first forum.

Excerpts from a Cat's Diary

Post by Flipp » Thu, 10 May 2001 13:39:20



Excerpts from a Cat's Diary

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry
cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the
mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet
while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the
stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once
again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair...must try this on
their bed.

DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep
depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike
fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good
little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how ***ic they are. For no good reason
I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a
burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such
a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my
teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was
placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise
and smell the foul odour of the glass tubes they call "beer." More
importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of
"allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkeys and maybe
snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to
return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to
be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to
mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my
every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is
assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

Author Unknown
http://www.moonsgarden.com/~flippy/excerpts.html

Flippy's Cat Page - http://www.moonsgarden.com/~flippy/

 
 
 

Excerpts from a Cat's Diary

Post by Divamanq » Sat, 12 May 2001 11:08:07


I've seen these before, plus quite a few more.  They keep
circulating, but I'd LOVE to see the entire thing!  My guess
is there's someone somewhere writing a science-fiction story
(or book?) and trying excerpts out on friends, who circulate
it.  Does anyone out there know more about it - where the
"diary" originates, and how to get hold of the rest of it?
Quote:

> Excerpts from a Cat's Diary

> DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
> objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry
> cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the
> mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
> Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

> DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet
> while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the
> stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once
> again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair...must try this on
> their bed.

> DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep
> depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

> DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in
> attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike
> fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good
> little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

> DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how ***ic they are. For no good reason
> I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a
> burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such
> a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my
> teeth.

> DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was
> placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise
> and smell the foul odour of the glass tubes they call "beer." More
> importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of
> "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

> DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkeys and maybe
> snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to
> return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to
> be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to
> mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my
> every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is
> assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

> Author Unknown
> http://www.moonsgarden.com/~flippy/excerpts.html

> Flippy's Cat Page - http://www.moonsgarden.com/~flippy/